community retreat

Last time I wrote I promised an update after our community retreat, and a whole week has passed since then! Time flies, I’m telling you. Well friends, here you are, a (late) account of our community retreat:
Astoria loaded up in a GSS minivan and headed up to Ossining, NY on Thursday evening to being our retreat. We were met by a delicious meal of chili and cornbread, and after a brief intro socialized with the other communities before heading to bed. Friday began bright and early with lots of solitude, where we were asked to reflect about the strengths and weaknesses we see in our community and ourselves thus far. In the afternoon we were lead in an Enneagram activity, which provided us insight into our personality types and how we interact with other personalities. It was really interesting, and scarily accurate for most of us. It also sparked conversations that lasted the duration of the retreat (“As a 9 I feel..”, “You’re such a 4!”, etc.).
Saturday was when things got a little stickier for Astoria. We spent almost the entire day sitting in a circle and discussing our strengths and weaknesses as individuals and as a community. We were at it for at least six hours. Our discussions ranged from silly to uncomfortable, and was as gratifying as it was intense. Some issues that had been brewing came to a head, however I think our community did an exceptional job at listening to every side of the issue, as well as approaching our group weaknesses from a place of love and concern for each other and our community. This prevented  feelings of being attacked, or the development of a lasting bitterness or discomfort between each other.
Sunday was  devoted to creating a solid plan to move toward bettering two issues we decided were the most challenging to our community. We chose communication and balance, and decided to work on them by creating a space on our whiteboard where we give each other brief daily updates and by committing to engage in one non-GSV-required activity each week. These activities will either be fun or social justice oriented. We will also begin each community and spirituality night with a round of happy/crappy to increase conversation amongst those of us who aren’t frequently able to talk about our days.
While I had been dreading the community retreat and the inevitable confrontation of our community weaknesses, I am now very grateful that we were provided with the opportunity to do so.  Our community made lots of progress in the space of only three days, and have so far kept up with our new commitments to each other. I hope that the retreat experience will enable us to confront issues sooner in the future, and that we will continue to move in a positive direction that enables us to just love.

struggles

Hi friends,
I am struggling. It’s only Wednesday, and work this week has already been overwhelming. Community is getting a good shake-up, my self-care is slacking. I cheated at simplicity this week. Spirituality isn’t even on my radar.

Well, I’ll start with work. I had to work on Monday (Columbus Day) to compensate for a day I took off next weekend. It turned out to be alright, minus the fact that it was beautiful weather outside while I was inside. Girls who generally don’t get along spent most of their shift having fun together playing wii and giving each other pedicures. I saw this as a mini-miracle, because Sunday night was pretty chaotic from what I understand. This was the result of having two girls fresh back from rehab, the arrival of  a new resident, and the return of one resident who had been on respite, all in one weekend.

Yesterday we saw some backlash from the girls getting along on Monday. Each girl I saw was lashing out in their own way, and I was yelled at and challenged by a resident for the first time. While I think I generally handled it well, I did apologize to her later for the things I said that could have used some improvement. Today I saw a resident who returned from a week-long AWOL (running away) last night, and spent a majority of my day with her in the psych-ER and doing her one-on-one (suicide watch). She recently endured a series of traumatic experiences which caused her instability. This was my first experience being given the responsibility to care for someone who is feeling suicidal, and it was very draining and overwhelming. I was also confused and disappointed by the way other staff handled the situation.

Community has taken a shift to the back burner in my mind over the last week. It’s really difficult to focus on participating in a community actively when dealing with such stressful situations at work all day, and when some community members have been traveling recently. Then I plan to be out of town for the next two weekends (not counting this one, when we will all be on retreat together).

Last night we had a combined community/spirituality night, where we had a really great discussion about a wide range of topics. This lead to several revealing emails, where roommates opened up about what issues they’re dealing with personally and relating to GSV. It seems like feelings of disconnect and overwhelmed-ness are common for several of us. This brings us to this weekend, which is a retreat focused on issues in community. According to Peter we’re going to be “stirring the pot” to stimulate open communication regarding community issues in a safe environment. My instinct recently has been to retreat to my room when feeling overwhelmed, so I am not looking forward to this constant discussion about community and our feelings. I am hopeful, though, that it will help us to accept our work/life situations and bring the focus back to the GSV program we came here to experience.

In terms of self-care I had a really great Sunday. I slept in, went to get a bagel and got my nails done/eyebrows waxed at a new cheap place. I think I’m going to make it my weekly routine. I like the idea of being a regular at the bagel place, and alternating getting my eyebrows and nails done will help me feel like I’m treating myself without breaking the Simplicity Bank. Aside from Sunday, though, I’ve felt recently like every second of my time is being scheduled for something, and by the time I have a moment to myself all I want to do is lie in bed. Right now, for example, I still have a list of at least three things I need to accomplish before I go to bed. And my day started at 6:00 am. This is draining for both me and my community (see last paragraph).

I think that I have been doing well as simplicity in general, but this week I did cheat and buy a purse for $25 at Forever 21. It’s so cute! It’s small so it wont hurt my back! I know, I’m rationalizing. But I will try not to do it again any time soon.

Spirituality? Like I said, off my radar for the time being.

I suppose that brings y’all up to speed. Wish me luck this weekend.

week 5

Has another week really gone by already? Madness, I tell you.
This time warp might be related to the fact that this month I am not once working a full 40 hour week (yesss!). This week we were excused from work early on Monday to visit some of the Good Shepherd Sisters at the GS Peace and Justice office, just blocks away from the UN. We started with a tour of the UN (very cool) and finished by speaking to the sisters about the work that they do. It’s very interesting, and there’s even rumor about a possible volunteer placement with these sisters and the UN next year.

I was also excused from work on Wednesday, because I went back home to Albany to participate in a volunteer fair on SUNY’s campus. It was interesting to be back on campus in my post-student life, and to see all the students interact with each other and the school. I had the best booth (obviously) and got two whole pages of student to sign up to receive more information! It was also nice to visit my friends and family while I was in town.

That’s all for now, but I promise another fun-filled post next week after our first (community) retreat!