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I'm not turning 30, but I'm still thinking about it...

How To Live Alone: Turning 30 Is Easier If You've Learned To Exist On Your Own

When I was a kid, the only woman I knew who lived alone was my aunt Margie. Although Margie was nice enough in a peppermint-scented, pilly-sweatered kind of way, I figured she lived alone because she had no other choice: She wasn’t pretty enough to get a husband or cool enough to have friends or lucky enough to be a mom. Living alone might be better than being dead, I thought, but just barely.

I had no desire to ever live alone myself, and I didn’t think I’d ever have to. I moved from my parents’ house to a college dorm room, and from my dorm to an apartment with my first husband, and when my teenage marriage broke up, I moved in with a group of friends.

Eventually, though, I found myself too old to keep labeling my cheese but not ready to move in with my adorable but oh-so-tenuous new boyfriend. And so at twenty-three I signed a lease on my first solo apartment. I was thrilled to finally be embarking on a phase that was defined by nothing more than my own moods, schedule, and agenda. But I also dreaded discovering that, alone with my own soul, I’d find nothing very compelling. What if even I didn’t want to be with me?

It was one of the first pedestrian chores of having my own place that ended up banishing my worry: I had to paint the walls, a job that clearly fell to me alone. But at the same time, I realized, no one else had any right to decide what color I painted those walls, or at what hour, or how I configured the rest of the space around them.

I remember so vividly what a thrill it was to transform the room that I can still see the gorgeous color I chose, the palest shell pink, spreading like a blush of excitement across those walls. There was an important revelation in that moment: Living alone meant pleasing nobody, not even for one second, but myself.

Of course, there were lonely moments too, and those filled with terror: As keenly as I remember the pleasure of blasting “Desperado” for five days running after a painful breakup, I remember how desolate I felt lying alone on the floor crying over him. I recall how horrible I felt upon discovering a mouse swimming desperately in my toilet. (If you must know, I shut my eyes and -- yes, shoot me -- I flushed.) How terrifying it was to wake up from a nightmare at 3 a.m. and feel there was no one on earth I had a right to call at that hour to comfort me.

There was also a sense that I was doing this until something better -- i.e., a permanent man -- came along. But while I was waiting, I was also amassing important life skills available only to those who live alone. How to single-handedly haul a dresser up five flights of stairs, say, or how not to eat all the ice cream in your freezer. Where to fortify a door so no one can get in, and when to kick that guy in your bed out.

When it’s only you within those pink walls, on the peaceful sunny days as well as the fretful nights, you get to know yourself in a way you don’t, you just can’t, in any other situation. There’s no one else to blame the mess on, to absorb the anxiety, to break the silence. You’re forced to confront your own weaknesses as well as your strengths, to figure out exactly what you want out of living with a lover or a friend (if you end up wanting that at all), and why being alone may be just perfect.

Due to love or money or some combination of the two, I moved into and out of my own apartments throughout my twenties, finally getting remarried and having my first child in the whirlwind eighteen months before my thirtieth birthday. Except for a week or two when I’ve been traveling, I haven’t lived alone since.

But here’s the important thing: I know that I could. I know that -- undoubtedly like my aunt Margie -- I’d like it. I even know what color I’d paint the walls.



by Pamela Redmond Satran from
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/24/how-to-live-alone-turning-30_n_1447304.html?ref=women

2011 est fin.

January: An AWESOME New Year’s Eve out in NYC.

                Depression, thought about quitting GSV, therapy.

                Grad school applications.

February: Retreat in Wikitunk, Super Bowl party.

                Recovery from depression.

                Birthday fun. 

March: Miami.

            Accepted to McGill and Hunter.

            Community silliness.

April: McGill visit.

          Scranton weekend.

          Discovered Rachel Lloyd / GEMS.

May: Resumed exploring NYC.

         Silent retreat.

         Charles got fired.

Annie moved to LA.

Becoming comfortable with “God.”

Signed up for French lessons.

June: Killer heat wave.

                Sarah’s wedding.

                Anxiety about next year.

                TCI training.

                Jess’ cabin.

                SCAVENGER HUNT!

July: Alaska.

                Deep thoughts about leaving GSV/NYC.

                Gay marriage legalized in New York State.

                Last day at Marian Hall.

                Going away parties.

                Re-O.

August: Surf lessons in VA.

                Going away party for Paraguayans.

                Canadian visa approved.

                More McGill anxiety.

                New GSV orientation, saying goodbye to my former roommates
                 (and crying til Brooklyn).

                Moved to Montréal.

September: Car broken into.

                Lack-of-internship anxiety.

                Exploring Montréal.

                Cultural and language struggles.

                Parents “adopted” a new dog.

October: Midterms.

                New friends.

                Started interning at IBCR.

                Homesick for GSV and NYC.

                6 year anniversary with Dave.

                                       

November: Overworked with classes and internship. Dissatisfied with the organizational culture at

my internship.

Planning my research of commercially sexually exploited youth in the justice system. Getting really excited and motivated by the awesomeness of McGill.

             Making friends at my internship.

            Thanksgiving/family reunion in D.C.

December: Offered research opportunity within Montréal from McGill.

                Continuing to plan my own research project in NYC and Montréal.

                The Nutcracker.

                Awesome holiday work party.

                Invited to Italy for work conference.

                Parents got rid of one of the dogs for fighting too much.

                Christmas home.

Agenda for 2012: Graduate, get a job, start paying off student debt. No sweat.

changing perspective

So, friends, last time we met  Marian Hall was falling on some hard times. Although that is still true, it's also true that I was projecting a lot of my stress from feeling stuck in this job in that statement. Since then I've been doing a lot of self care and I'm currently in a week long training, so I'm feeling a little better about things even though not much at the program has changed. The staff that was suspended (also my favorite staff coworker and a mentor figure) was fired, and the residents are still "goin thru it", as they say. But I just keep reminding myself that I can only control myself and that I contribute all that I can, and that is enough.

Annie has moved on from our community, and she just finished her road trip and made it safely to LA yesterday. I honestly thought there would be a bigger reaction from my roommates, but it seems like everyone is just rollin with the punches. Everyone is pretty caught up in finally enjoying the sun and the city, and worried about next year (we only have a month and a half left here!). We also only have about one community and one spirituality night each left to lead, so our time together is becoming more valuable and more planful than before, which is saying a lot.

I'm feeling a little stagnant in my spirituality, but it's because I've been focusing on other things recently.. like how poor I am. I have less than $10 in my bank account and a credit card bill =[ Simplicity sucks.

My personal life, though, is going quite swimmingly. I had two great weekends with Dave, went to a friend's wedding, and am continuing to learn French and pull things together to plan for McGill. I even have an "international buddy"!

And now, for your viewing pleasure:

 Community Night on the Brooklyn Bridge

grilling at a park upstate

Dave and I at a friend's wedding

la-la-la-life

Marian Hall has fallen on some hard times. Last week was really rough, with an incident every day of the week. Several girls were hospitalized and one staff member was suspended. This of course is fueling the gossip mill which you would expect from the residents but I am sad and disappointed that staff are joining in as well. I was the only other staff on during the most noteworthy incident which puts me in a strange situation, and I will be asked to participate in an investigation. I'm pretty anxious about it, and the weird vibes on the floor aren't even close to helpful. We also have bed bugs. Ew.

Our community got some big news today: Annie, who lives in the Astoria community and works for GSV has been offered a job, but it starts in June so she will need to move back to LA in about two weeks. Of course we're all happy for her, but it will be strange and interesting to shift to a community of six so close to the end of the year.

In terms of spirituality I am still comfortable in saying that I believe in God, and I think that has helped a little bit to remain calm and decently happy despite the things going on at work. It's kind of like I have a ''center'' that I can go back to (mentally) when I'm stressing. I wish we could go back to retreat! Oh! How could I forget: in case you haven't heard, the world will end this weekend. My roommates and I plan to celebrate by going out on Friday night with themed t-shirts. (We're really cool, I know.) I suggest you repent and save your soul and all that bullshit, or follow our lead and have a great "last night" on Earth. Pictures to follow.

Simplicity? Being poor sucks, I wish I had more money, blahblahblah. I'm making it just fine, though.

We have two and a half months left in our year. I'm starting to feel the time crunch, most especially in terms of taking advantage of all that NYC has to offer. I want to continue exploring and enjoying the city (and the bars), but so much of my time is already claimed! I tried to get a happy hour thing going with coworkers and I don't know if I can even pull that off! In happier news my Aunt is coming to visit this weekend and I think we're going out to dinner and to see the Lion King on Broadway. It was one of my biggest goals to see it before I left NYC and it might actually come true!!!

I haven't heard much news in the McGill department except that I'm having trouble transfering in my Freiburg course from SUNY New Paltz. I'll keep working on it, but even if it doesn't work out I can still use the opportunity to take a fun class that I''m interested in. I sent in my student permit papers to Quebec last week - keep your fingers crossed that I get it back soon! French class is going well but I wish I had more time to devote to studying. Oh schwell.

Retreat and Reality

Our silent spirituality retreat was this past weekend. Going into it I was both looking forward to the break from talking/small talk/work/normal life and worried about things like boredom, not being able to express myself to others, and being forced to think about God, which is a pretty uncomfortable topic for me.

The retreat was in Garrison, NY on a big, beautiful plot of land with gardens, rolling hills, rock outcrops looking over a valley and mountains, and near a few trail heads for hiking. It was really beautiful. Once we entered silence I spent most of my time on said rock outcrop, loving the quiet, view, and sun. Actually, aside from meals, when it was cold, and any meetings, I ended up spending almost my entire weekend on the rocks. Anyway, the retreat was cool and we did different things like different forms of prayer (meditation, an overnight vigil, etc.) and it turns out the silence wasn't even that hard. Meal times as a big silent group were weird and I got pretty bored on Saturday night when I couldn't stay outside, but besides that I rather enjoyed myself. I also decided that I believe in God. I realized that a lot of me fear and resentment about God was really about the church, and that is still true. I made a list of things I've been told about God and things that I want from/believe in about God, and decided that, while I can't "invent" God, I can believe in a God that most represents me. I haven't gotten far along enough to really know what that looks like, but give me a while, it was only one weekend. I also realized that I don't believe in Jesus and the trinity and all that.

So, that's that about my weekend, and what a snap back to reality it was today. I actually woke up in a good mood today (rare when I'm going to work), but that ended as soon as I stepped out of the elevator and right into the aftermath of a fight. In total I broke up about 4 fights today, and that's after round 1 that I missed in the morning. I was also accused by a resident of stealing from her (what exactly I "stole" I don't even know) and was an emotional punching bag all day long. But that part is pretty normal.

Despite all this I was able to see a big improvement in the behavior of one residents that I probably even wrote about before. She was the one who, if she so much as made one more verbal threat about anyone, was going directly to Rikers. She has since consistently stayed out of the drama, been helpful in distracting girls who would otherwise get involved in drama, and I've seen her defend me more than once when another resident was drinkin the hateoraid. She has an ongoing problem with a resident, perhaps her best friend there, who steals from her bedroom, but today instead of yelling and threatening about it she cried, spoke to her social worker, set up a meditation session with the girl, and got permission to go visit her mother to cool down. I was so proud of her that I pulled her aside to recognize her and thank her. I could tell she really appreciated it which made it even better. Seeing things like that make it so much easier to get through the other stuff. Actually, it's probably the only thing that makes getting through the other stuff possible.

After work I finally made it to the conservatory gardens in Central Park to an impromptu picnic, and it was super beautiful. I even saw a raccoon.

spring time

my whirlwind week went really well, if i do say so myself. i was able to see dave, even if it was ever-so-breif, and i finally made my first trip to mcgill as an accepted student. yay! the weather was worse than terrible (freezing! rain!) and almost made me second guess my decision to move even farther north. but im pretty sure itll be worth it.
i met with my advisor, who didnt give me tons of new information but really just helped to explain the basics of the program and make me feel more comfortable. it was nice to finally just have some face-to-face conversation about my future plans with someone who knows what she's talking about. she looks pretty relaxed too, so hopefully ill have some more flexibility and room for creativity in my research.
i also met the woman who will assign me my field placement, and learned a few surprising things. for example, one thing that drew me to mcgill is the large number of international students, but i think im the only international student in my entire program. i am for sure the only one who doesnt speak french, and one of the only ones who's not currently a mcgill undergrad. talk about sticking out. now im more concerned than before that i find a good, friendly roommate so i can have someone to talk to in case i dont fit in with my classmates. i also learned that mcgill has some awesome opportunities to do a summer internship abroad, including in a few african countries, but i dont think ill take advantage of them because i want to spend the whole year in montreal. i might consider using some of their connections to go after i graduate, though.
so now that im back i have a lot of work to do, including getting a visa, continuing with my french lessons, planning a move, finding an apartment, deciding on a thesis, getting financial aid... oh boy!

my trip to new paltz with some residents was also a big success. at first it wasnt looking good. i was late, which pissed off one resident, only 3 out of 5 girls who signed up came, and they were all kind of cranky and wanted a 'quick' trip. they also didnt realize it was a 1.5 hour drive each way. they didnt want to see suny new paltz, saying it would be lame and boring, but i took a shot and drove there anyway. we got out of the car and started wandering toward a building, and i got some badass points for letting myself in. they were clearly feeling out of place and thought we might get in trouble. as we started wandering i pointed out different things like a theater and gym, and the girls were getting more and more excited in spite of themselves. by the end they were all talking about how cool college is and how they all really want to go and be students. i knew it wouldnt last, but i was so proud of myself and them in that moment that i didnt care. then we had a pretty decent chinese buffet and made it home almost on time.

besides that work has basically been the same old. some days im the good guy, some days im not. some days i hate going and then some days, like today, it isnt so bad and i find myself enjoying the residents' company in a really genuine and full way.

im enjoying my free time a lot, even more than before because its finally spring. i planted a little roof-top garden and ate a few meals on my roof. ive gone out without freezing between bars, and im more comfortable in different neighborhoods. im trying to branch out a little, and even did yoga in the park yesterday. im still sore. the reality that the end of the year is rapidly approaching is setting in, and i feel like i still have so much left to do here in nyc. hopefully ill get to see everything on my 'bucket list' before i go.

our silent spirituality retreat is this weekend, and i dont really know how i feel about it. i think it could be cool, but i honestly just dont want to give up my cell phone for 3 days. but that kind of makes me more interested in the idea. ill let you know how it goes!

cha-cha-changeeeeee

everything is so good right now.

tomorrow im leaving for a whirlwind of a week, where Ill be driving up to albany tomorrow then to montreal for wednesday and back down to the city to make it to work by 1 so i can pick up some residents and drive them up to new paltz to come right back to work again on friday before leaving saturday morning to go home for the weekend again with the intent of returning to nyc monday night. got it?

im really excited to do all these things and to see dave and to visit mcgill for the first time as an accepted student. yayayay! my agenda for wednesday is as follows: leave albany with sister around 8am, arrive in montreal around 12 noon. check out the various housing offices to try and figure out where ill live, and depending on time explore some student neighborhoods and get lunch. meet with my field coordinator from 2-3, then with my academic advisor from 3-4, then attend the field orientation with the other students in my track from 4-5:30. drive back to albany, and arrive somewhere near 10pm. i cant wait!

back here in good ol nyc things are going swimmingly as well. tomorrow ill be going on a home visit to a resident's home for the first time, so im excited to both get out of the building and learn another aspect of the job. im taking some residents to new paltz on thursday as my shift to get them out of the house (theyre on spring break) and i really hope they have a good time.

ive had a great last two weekends with my community, going out and about in the city, astoria, and scranton PA. these weekends make up the moments i know im going to miss the most next year.

tonight for spirituality night jon lead all of the gsv's in a "pre-spirituality" night in anticipation of our last (!!) gsv retreat. its the spirituality retreat, and it will be silent. no music, no books, no cell phones.. and i dont want to be a debbie downer but it doesnt sound like much fun either. its going to be 3 days of reflection and meditation, with a mix of guided time and alone time. i am not good at that much alone time and ive never tried to be quiet for that long. i think its going to be really uncomfortable and either lead to cyclical thinking (read, worrying) and/or lots of boredom. but ill give it a shot and see what i think. even if its really difficult or terrible its only one weekend, right?

so, friends, thats where ill leave off this time. toodles!

february-march

I’ve felt like I should update for a while now, but every time I’ve thought about it I couldn’t come up with anything to talk about. Strange, no? Because my life is too full to find time to do things like make phone calls, I figure something interesting MUST be going on.
Since I last wrote I visited a resident at an adolescent psychiatric hospital, picked up a second resident from another hospital/respite center, played a silly game of truth or dare with my community, struggled with simplicity, and enjoyed a very ‘touching’ spirituality night. I also celebrated my birthday, Jess’ birthday, interviewed for Hunter College, and went to my first theater event (of the year). I even got sick for the first time this year.
The psych hospital was surprisingly nice – it’s on a property overlooking the Hudson that used to be a vacation spot, so it’s got some old charm to it. Except that when you get inside everything is sterile but dingy at the same time, every piece of furniture is secured to the ground, and you (and all of your belongings) need a pat down to get past the front door. We visited a resident who was pretty difficult while in our care, but was so silly you just had to love her. It was really sad to see her there – she was so over-medicated that she was having trouble stringing words together. Even in that condition she is still managing to pick enough fights to need physical restraint weekly or more. As a result she’ll soon be sent to a state psych hospital to become a ward of the state indefinitely. It’s a really sad story. The other resident I picked up will hopefully have a better outcome.
For one of my favorite community nights in a long time we played truth or dare.. it was both enlightening and hilarious. I wish I could say more, but the oath of secrecy is binding. A recent spirituality night I enjoyed involved giving a partner a long massage.. while they lied on their back. It was a cool twist on a massage and required quite a bit of trust. As the weather gets nicer I’m finding that I struggle more and more with simplicity.. I have a trip to Miami around the corner I want to look cute for, the weather is warming up which makes snacking outside oh-so-tempting and walking store-to-store for shopping a pleasant experience, and I’m kinda just getting tired of feeling poor all the time. My strategy for now is finding joy in simple purchases, like $5 flowers on the street. It helps bring the spring inside and lets me feel like I’m indulging in life just a little.
I had a really nice birthday weekend and had some of my favorite people come to visit: Dave, Twig, Kim and Erin. We went out on Friday and spent the rest of the weekend recovering, but we had some good food and a good time just catching up and hanging out. Jess’ birthday involved lots of dancing… first at a club with her ‘other’ friends and then at the Brooklyn Museum’s Native American themed party on Saturday. We went with her mom.

up

I’m a little hesitant to say this, but it just might be true: the worst has passed.
I’ve been doing a lot of work to reframe the way I think about my job and the girls. It’s been really helpful, and (I think) I’ve been taking work home with me less and less. This is nothing short of awesome, because when you’re not stuck in mope-ville worrying about what she’s doing right now, or how could a father do something like that to his daughter 24/7 there’s a surprising amount of room in your life to have fun. That’s not to say that I don’t still worry about some of the residents and it certainly doesn’t mean I don’t care about them, but I think I’m learning a healthy perspective on how to do this work and like my own life, too.
So what have I been doing with my new and improved fun-loving self, you ask? Last weekend all of us GSV’ers went on our Social Justice/Simplicity retreat in Wikitunk, followed by a super bowl party with some nuns. Beer, gambling, Black Eyed Peas.. not bad. This week our community night involved staying in and paying Cranium (my team won!), and last night some of us went out for Thai and rented some movies. Today I went skiing with Lar and had a wonderfully silly time. I even restarted my cooking/baking group on Fridays at work. With my birthday, Miami and then spring on the way, I think things can only go up.

struggles

Hi friends,
I am struggling. It’s only Wednesday, and work this week has already been overwhelming. Community is getting a good shake-up, my self-care is slacking. I cheated at simplicity this week. Spirituality isn’t even on my radar.

Well, I’ll start with work. I had to work on Monday (Columbus Day) to compensate for a day I took off next weekend. It turned out to be alright, minus the fact that it was beautiful weather outside while I was inside. Girls who generally don’t get along spent most of their shift having fun together playing wii and giving each other pedicures. I saw this as a mini-miracle, because Sunday night was pretty chaotic from what I understand. This was the result of having two girls fresh back from rehab, the arrival of  a new resident, and the return of one resident who had been on respite, all in one weekend.

Yesterday we saw some backlash from the girls getting along on Monday. Each girl I saw was lashing out in their own way, and I was yelled at and challenged by a resident for the first time. While I think I generally handled it well, I did apologize to her later for the things I said that could have used some improvement. Today I saw a resident who returned from a week-long AWOL (running away) last night, and spent a majority of my day with her in the psych-ER and doing her one-on-one (suicide watch). She recently endured a series of traumatic experiences which caused her instability. This was my first experience being given the responsibility to care for someone who is feeling suicidal, and it was very draining and overwhelming. I was also confused and disappointed by the way other staff handled the situation.

Community has taken a shift to the back burner in my mind over the last week. It’s really difficult to focus on participating in a community actively when dealing with such stressful situations at work all day, and when some community members have been traveling recently. Then I plan to be out of town for the next two weekends (not counting this one, when we will all be on retreat together).

Last night we had a combined community/spirituality night, where we had a really great discussion about a wide range of topics. This lead to several revealing emails, where roommates opened up about what issues they’re dealing with personally and relating to GSV. It seems like feelings of disconnect and overwhelmed-ness are common for several of us. This brings us to this weekend, which is a retreat focused on issues in community. According to Peter we’re going to be “stirring the pot” to stimulate open communication regarding community issues in a safe environment. My instinct recently has been to retreat to my room when feeling overwhelmed, so I am not looking forward to this constant discussion about community and our feelings. I am hopeful, though, that it will help us to accept our work/life situations and bring the focus back to the GSV program we came here to experience.

In terms of self-care I had a really great Sunday. I slept in, went to get a bagel and got my nails done/eyebrows waxed at a new cheap place. I think I’m going to make it my weekly routine. I like the idea of being a regular at the bagel place, and alternating getting my eyebrows and nails done will help me feel like I’m treating myself without breaking the Simplicity Bank. Aside from Sunday, though, I’ve felt recently like every second of my time is being scheduled for something, and by the time I have a moment to myself all I want to do is lie in bed. Right now, for example, I still have a list of at least three things I need to accomplish before I go to bed. And my day started at 6:00 am. This is draining for both me and my community (see last paragraph).

I think that I have been doing well as simplicity in general, but this week I did cheat and buy a purse for $25 at Forever 21. It’s so cute! It’s small so it wont hurt my back! I know, I’m rationalizing. But I will try not to do it again any time soon.

Spirituality? Like I said, off my radar for the time being.

I suppose that brings y’all up to speed. Wish me luck this weekend.

week 3

This week I have been focusing all of my mental energy on my placement at Marian Hall. A few of the girls had trying weeks, mostly due to parents who don’t understand and/or respect healthy boundaries with their children. There is also a growing problem on the floor with substance abuse. Two girls are in rehab, and a few more perhaps should be.
On Thursday I took one girl to BARC, an animal shelter where volunteers can play with cats or walk dogs. That was fun, except that we were trapped outside in Brooklyn in the peak of the freak storm. We got pelted with 1″ hail balls and ran for cover. Friday was the first day of my cooking program, where I hope to cook or bake one item with whatever girls are not able to go on weekend home visits each Friday.  I’m hoping that this will help me to continue engaging with the girls while addressing two of their favorite complaints: boredom and bad food from the kitchen. We made chocolate chip cookies yesterday and it went very well. Only two girls participated, but they worked together really well, and even shared the cookies and dishes. I was really happy with myself for having the idea and proud of the girls for doing such a good job.

I haven’t had a problem with simplicity yet, and I’ve even been buying myself some nice groceries and gotten a few coffees. Not going out for drinks is helpful, and so is being used to living on a poor college-student budget. I actually made it through this pay period with an extra $32!
Spirituality has fallen out of focus for me since orientation, but we are still doing our weekly spirituality nights and sharing different experiences together. This week we went to a meditation introduction lecture at a church. Community continues to be a learning experience for some of us as our personality differences become more apparent after having lived together for about a month now.
Ta-ta for now!

GSV Beginnings

The first 8 days of GSV has been really overwhelming, in ways both good and less desirable.
Orientation was one looong week in rural Jersey (who knew?) where I met all the other volunteers. There are about 30 of us, mostly in NYC but some in Jersey and abroad. We spent most of the time going over the history of the organization and the four tenets of the program (simplicity, social justice, spirituality, and community, in no particular order). We had a lot of large and small group conversations about what those topics mean to GSV, to us, and to each other. It was very interesting to learn so much about the other volunteers, and to be able to speak about the concepts both theoretically and practically. I especially found the spirituality discussions to be interesting, since I had been so resistant to them in the beginning. At the end of the week that I had gained an appreciation and understanding of all of the different things spirituality can mean, and ways in which I’m interested in incorporating it into my life. It’s definitely going to be a long and slow road to get anywhere solid in that area, but I really enjoyed the initial conversations.
On Saturday we moved into our new place, which is top floor of a functional Catholic high school. The space is so large that my roommates and I ride scooters around the hallways! We found a few dead cockroaches (and then some alive ones today), and the space is very institutional looking and impersonal. With that being said we’re all really excited to make it as homey and our own as possible, and to make the most of the ridiculous amount of space we have. Oh, and did I mention the two porches and rooftop access with a view of the Manhattan skyline, or that I can see the Triborough (?) Bridge from my bedroom window?
Today was our first day of on-site orientation, and we were out from 8am-8pm. Long day. We were first briefed by Good Shepherd Services’ HR department, and given our first paychecks. If you calculate our earnings, we make $1.25/hour. Yikes! Talk about living simply. I won a game of Shepherdy and got a $5 Starbucks gift card, which was pretty cool. We filled out forms for health insurance and other boring things, and spoke to the Directors of one of the placements, a transitional housing organization for young-adult females who need life skills before leaving the foster care system for “the real world”. They were very informative and personable, and it sounds like a really great program. We left from there to my placement, Marian Hall, which is a very similar program and serves a younger population (12-19-ish). It is connected to a crisis center where the same girls can come to live if they can’t stay at home, and many girls travel from that program to mine. The staff at these programs were a little less personable and the space wasn’t big enough for a tour of our size, so I left there feeling disappointed and anxious.
We tour the other volunteer sites tomorrow and Wednesday, and our first day of work in Thursday. I’m anxious to see what I will be doing, and to have a conversation with my supervisor. My role is to be a good role model and support person for the girls, but I’m still foggy on specific duties. Tonight is our first spirituality night, and tomorrow will be our first community night. I’m really excited for this year, and for all of the opportunities and experiences I’ll be exposed to!
In other news, Dave is coming home tomorrow and I’m super excited, even though I won’t have much free time during the day =/.