see ya later, 2012!

Well, 2012 is over and we've survived all the foretold endings of the world. Before we move on to 2013, let's look at some highlights from 2012:

January:
worked at IBCR, found out I was going to Italy
started the spring semester at McGill

February:
visit to Quebec City, American super bowl party
Letizia left Montréal :(
lots of friend time with Rita, Hana, and Yasaman
beach birthday party during a snow storm

March: 
ITALY! (and finished at IBCR)

April:
heart pangs for NYC
finals and celebrations
worries about the future

May:
visit to NYC
student protests intensify
began applying for jobs

June:

another NYC visit
ISP writing at Café Plume
went to ER (for free!!!)
soaking up the Montréal summer
first camping trip

July:
America's 236th birthday party... in Canada
pranked on Just for Laughs
more daily ISP writing at Café Plume
ANOTHER visit it NYC (I can't stay away!)
shooting in Auraura
beach vacation
offered Women and Public Policy Fellowship

...apparently I took no pictures this month?

August:
finished and submitted ISP
Gorczy's wedding
NYC was a monthly thing for a little while, I guess...
moved to DC
went to LA

September:
started at Polaris Project
hung out with Alex a lot
started weekly fellow happy hours

October:
visited brother at college
Hurricane Sandy
Montréal visit for graduation
I got really into the election/Obama campaign

November:
dave visited

more hangin with Alex
more election excitement
more fellowship events
checkin out the DC attractions

December:
Jingle Ball concert

finished Polaris fellowship
Sandy Hook shooting
ANOTHER visit to NYC
moved back to Albany
hot cocoa party
getting ready for my Rockefeller fellowship

Another successful year. 2013's agenda: Women and Public Policy fellowship, get a real job (yanno, one that pays), get my LMSW, and, of course, have fun.

gratitude

Alex and the Ainspans

Dave

community

success/future

possibility

feminism/the internet/ryan gosling

why not go out with a bang, eh old EJ?

the last weeks of August:
-Graduated
-Left Montréal
-Spent a week at Twig's new house
-Attending Gorczy's wedding
-FINALLY saw Lar and Jess again :)
-Drove to DC. My uncle wasn't aware I was moving in til I showed up.
-Got the Polaris Project fellowship
-Leaving for LA tomorrow
-and returning on Tuesday night, just in time to start work on Wednesday!

summer haps

spent a week at the beach; went surfing; loved it
saw twigs new house; relaxed in albany; QT with Dave
got the fellowship i wanted; turned down a job opportunity for it
last week in Montréal; friends are already gone; finishing my ISP
moving to D.C. for four months; hoping for another fellowship or working for the fam
LA in three weeks; NYC in two; life is awesome <3

remember that show from VH1 best week ever?

-one job interview
-applied for two more job
-reimbursed $6,200 from McGill
-started writing my ISP
-talked to my brother
-tickets to the beach, secured
-camping trip across Quebec, planned
-last minute trip to NYC tomorrow
-visiting Dave Sunday

beat that, Axl Rose.

i'm like a bird

i dont know where my soul is.
i dont know where my home is.

I am entering into a period of transition. I suck at transition. And this time, it will last about a year.

I've finished my coursework towards my M.S.W. and now have a relatively easy summer semester filled with a self-guided project and paper. That means I have lots of free time to enjoy the weather and squeeze in some travel, but also lots of time to worry about what's coming.

I'm moving back to the US at the end of August. I am applying for a fellowship that I'm really stoked about but it doesn't start until January. I can't even apply for full time jobs, because if I get the fellowship I'll have to quit after just a few months which isn't fair to clients or employers. That means I'll have to apply for 1 or more (probably more) part time jobs to fill my time and replenish (hah!) my bank account. Oh yeah and pay back all those student loans. Then I can quit the jobs at the end of December and do the 6 month fellowship.. and then reevaluate my life again and begin applying for those full time salaried jobs I've been told I'm qualified for.

This is not a solid plan. I have to get more than one job that I probably won't like (menial office work, the mall... I thought I was done with you!), coordinate schedules for more than one employer, go without benefits, and cross my fingers that I make enough money to pay all my bills. Yes, I would rather do this than move back home. AND this nonsense is all for the sake of doing the fellowship - which I haven't been accepted into yet. So, of course, this could all be a big waste of time, specifically five months that I could have used to find full time employment that uses my fancy new degree. Let's hope I get into the fellowship, then, eh?

On top of that, I'm struggling with the idea of where I want to be in the first place. I honestly like living in Montréal very much, but I don't belong here. I'm reminded of that every time I get an email from a prof in French (oops!), have to laugh though (another) joke about fat, dumb Americans, or am clueless about what's going on in pop culture because American websites don't effing work in Canada!!!! (this I find especially frustrating).

But I don't belong in Albany, either. I have some friends there, I know the area, I know I can afford to live there, and most importantly my boyfriend is there, but I don't like it. I was excited to leave Albany and I've really loved the excitement and growth that has come through living in NYC and Montreal. I love living in bigger cities, with the vibrant cultures, beautiful buildings, delicious and diverse food... and Albany just doesn't have that. It has suburbs, parking lots, white trash, lots of drunk college kids, and maybe one good food place in a few ethnic categories. It's not a terrible place, but at this point in my life it's just not for me. But alas, I am going back there and starting over again.

Let the next year of soul crushing doubt, insecurity, anger, anxiety, poverty, and hopefully some more personal growth begin!

Awesome things that happened this week

talked to Krystina
offered paid consultancy when my internship ends
got funding from McGill for Italy
bought my flights to Italy
im going home to see Dave soon


and theres more to come!
this week is:
my birthday
my beach party for said birthday
the last day of my internship
a spa day with my lovely classmates


life is awesome.

newsletter

i just wrote this to (possibly) be included in the next GSV newsletter. I must admit, I have a pretty cool life :)

After completing her GSV year in August, Madeline moved to Montréal, Québec, to earn her Masters degree in social work from McGill University. This summer she plans to complete a practical thesis project based in New York City. She will be meeting with various non-profit and governmental organizations to complete a needs-assessment addressing services for commercially sexually exploited youth throughout the city. This research, along with her other work surrounding child sexual abuse, were heavily influenced by her experiences in working with the residents at Marian Hall. Currently, Madeline is also an intern at IBCR (International Bureau for Children's Rights) in Montréal where she is completing a comprehensive review of child protection training materials for military forces prepairing for deployment as UN peacekeepers (or "Blue Helmets") around the world. She will be traveling to Italy this March to present her work at a UN Department of Peacekeeping Operations conference. She looks forward to graduating in August and returning to New York to begin her career.

another beginning

Today was my first day back at work after vacation. I started on the right foot by going to TWO classes at the gym, and then came home to Pad Thai, beer scotch, shisha, insnece, and oreos.

My grades are in for last semester. 3.8. Not bad. Not bad at all. My last ever first day of school is tomorrow, and I am so excited!!!

2011 est fin.

January: An AWESOME New Year’s Eve out in NYC.

                Depression, thought about quitting GSV, therapy.

                Grad school applications.

February: Retreat in Wikitunk, Super Bowl party.

                Recovery from depression.

                Birthday fun. 

March: Miami.

            Accepted to McGill and Hunter.

            Community silliness.

April: McGill visit.

          Scranton weekend.

          Discovered Rachel Lloyd / GEMS.

May: Resumed exploring NYC.

         Silent retreat.

         Charles got fired.

Annie moved to LA.

Becoming comfortable with “God.”

Signed up for French lessons.

June: Killer heat wave.

                Sarah’s wedding.

                Anxiety about next year.

                TCI training.

                Jess’ cabin.

                SCAVENGER HUNT!

July: Alaska.

                Deep thoughts about leaving GSV/NYC.

                Gay marriage legalized in New York State.

                Last day at Marian Hall.

                Going away parties.

                Re-O.

August: Surf lessons in VA.

                Going away party for Paraguayans.

                Canadian visa approved.

                More McGill anxiety.

                New GSV orientation, saying goodbye to my former roommates
                 (and crying til Brooklyn).

                Moved to Montréal.

September: Car broken into.

                Lack-of-internship anxiety.

                Exploring Montréal.

                Cultural and language struggles.

                Parents “adopted” a new dog.

October: Midterms.

                New friends.

                Started interning at IBCR.

                Homesick for GSV and NYC.

                6 year anniversary with Dave.

                                       

November: Overworked with classes and internship. Dissatisfied with the organizational culture at

my internship.

Planning my research of commercially sexually exploited youth in the justice system. Getting really excited and motivated by the awesomeness of McGill.

             Making friends at my internship.

            Thanksgiving/family reunion in D.C.

December: Offered research opportunity within Montréal from McGill.

                Continuing to plan my own research project in NYC and Montréal.

                The Nutcracker.

                Awesome holiday work party.

                Invited to Italy for work conference.

                Parents got rid of one of the dogs for fighting too much.

                Christmas home.

Agenda for 2012: Graduate, get a job, start paying off student debt. No sweat.