january

It has been one crazy most-of-a month. Unfortunately my morale has made a significant backward slide since my last post. I am still seeing my art therapist which is very helpful, and I’m also discussing various options with GSV and my work site regarding how I can lighten my work load while still fulfilling my volunteer responsibilities. My favorite idea on the table at the moment is working four days a week temporarily, and reevaluating my mental state monthly so I can move back up to a full five days.
My work stresses are mainly that many of the residents’ situations are worsening. In my first two shifts this week I had to help deescalate two different police situations with the same violent resident. In addition a resident with real promise has left due to a pregnancy, another returned to our care after a failed trail discharge to her family, residents are dating gang members 10 years older than them, hitting near bottom with addictions… and I still do not receive constant supervision. This is all on top of the typical daily stresses they encounter or cause, and I can’t even count how many times I get cursed out on any given day.
I am also experiencing some significant financial stress, as my wonderful credit union from home has decided that no matter what they do not offer deferment on student loans, and guess who’s is due, despite their $200 a month income?!@#! You got it. This guy’s. I’m also waiting on several hundred dollars in health insurance reimbursements… oy.YAYYYY simplicity!!!
Community seems to be going a bit better, and my roommate Alaina led an awesome community night this week. Picture half first date, half game show. It was a really good time.
And as for spirituality… ask me again next month?
In other GSV news, I was lucky enough to attend a UN conference with fellow volunteer Kylie from Wash Heights. We learned about the UN, health and education, and the millennium goals, and even meet Nicholas Kristof, author of Half the Sky. This book was the inspiration for my McGill statement of purpose, and if I attend there it will be the inspiration of my research! (Speaking of which, both of my applications have been submitted!) There was also a former volunteers panel last night that was both informative and inspirational. These type of events are the ones that help to remind me of why I chose to be a volunteer, and what I am passionate about within social work. We will be having our next GSV retreat next weekend, and I’m hoping for another great experience. But before that, Albany tomorrow!

new year, same me

I haven’t written for some time as a result of the usual blah: holidays, the low morale, etc. I’m happy to say that the moral of our community has generally improved, and the girls are work seem to be doing better, too.
Despite the last two months being a low point for me, they have yielded several positive consequences: I started seeing an art therapist, which I have been curious about looking into for some time, and I am getting better about speaking up for my needs at work and at keeping my mouth shut at home.
After meeting with some helpful people and having a hot second off from work, I realized that the things driving me most crazy about my job are things that are totally fixable. I need supervision, a regular schedule, and to not work a million hours of overtime every week. I spoke to my supervisor, got my schedule changed back to almost-normal, had a supervision session, and have another scheduled for next week. Thanks in part to my new plans after work and my new consciousness of saying no, I’ve begun to leave work closer to on-time every day, and didn’t work ANY over time this last week! (It was only a three day week for me, but that’s still an improvement). The girls I work with will not change, but hopefully these changes will help to make the work with them that much more manageable.
In other news, I finished my application to Hunter today and the McGill application is due in exactly one week, so I’m almost finished! That will be another load off my back, and I’m looking forward to it.
Aaaand a party shot from New Year’s Eve:

Happy New Year everyone!