Car Ride Reflections

During a car ride back to good ol' Dlink some roommates and I got to talking about the impending end of the year. Yay, we're almmost done, but what had we learned? Have we changed? Has anything changed? It sure feels like it has, but when it's time to explain what this year has been to me I always seems to fall short. Words like "wonderful, incredible, challenging, growth, love, community, amazing" and more come to my mind readily, but what do those words really mean? I never feel that they can adequately explain the magnitude of what my communitymates and I have experienced together.

I will not attempt to define any of those things for you, but here is an abbreviated list of the changes I have noticed in myself over the course of the past year.

-I've begun to realize the depth and ways in which my need to control impact my relationships with others, especially those who also like/need to control. The same is true of my relationships with external situations, for example at work.
-I learned how to ask for help. I saw a therapist, and I cautiously opened up to my roommates, who proved to be my best support of the year.
-I learned the value of self care: when to say 'no, I've done enough today', when to say 'it's ok to mindlessly watch tv for a little while, everything else can wait'. Also, I learned to create rituals for myself, like nails and bagels on Sunday mornings.
-I worked on becoming more independent. If I wanted to do something in the city and no one was around I did it anyway, by myself. I never did that before.
-I became more aware of my "blunt honesty" and how others around me receive it. Apparently, not everyone likes it as much as I do.
-Most importantly, although I recognize these changes, I don't think that I personally have changed. I feel like this year of GSV has made me a better, more aware version of the person I have always been. I have become a better version of myself.